beat.of.my.heart

SPM results day
Thursday, March 12, 2009
11:56 PM

i'm happy and satisfied in just a split second
when i first welcome back to school by my junior, (Pui Quan)
saying hello and congratulating me with my results
that moment, all i can think about is REALLY ? IS IT TRUE ?
WHAT DID I MISS FOR MY A2..ssss ?
and woooshhh....it was all gone now
there's a list of why's it good and bad for me today

BAD:
-dad rush and urge me to wake up as early as 8.oo am
while i am so sleepy
-can't fix the printer to print something for Ms. Khoo early in the morning
-heart beating...beating...and beating rapidly when reaching school gate
plus after calling Stephanie and ask how's it in school ?
-don't love myself after comparing my results with friends
-still don't have my freedom to hang out with friends whenever i wish
-sadly,i thought i got my RM 5000 extra now doooom
-the subject which i hope to get a1 got a2 =(
-didn't get to see and thank all the teachers who taught me
-my competitor since form 2 got a much better 10x result than mine
even though, last time we're a difference of a few marks
-hate myself for complaining the bad about my family
-just getting such a result, by right must be better than
those not taking tuition

GOOD:
- at least , or i say ( luckily ) i'm one of the straight As scorer among 7
IF NOTT..
a) malu sial
b) hate myself even more
c) disappointed
d) feel like it's pointless to struggle and suffer for a year
e) look down by people
f) will not get rewarded as in money and lee hom concert ticket
-ponteng my Moral Studies class at 4.00-7.oo pm
( cause that time feel so " high " on my own result )
- go karaoke for an hour with friends in Neway, Time Square
- ya ..ya..ya hearing good news from most of my friends getting
straight As
- I DID IT..after all the hardwork i put in ; tuitions; exercises ; seminar
- i proved that without going to WOW Tuition workshop, i can still get all As
- the feel of that happiness and contented in that few seconds

Anyhoos, i'm glad and proud of my friends who got ALL A's
they are gan hoi yee, kor michelle, wong yi theng, tan siew bee,katrin chan,
caryn, shewn nee, daphenie, rose siow, rachel chiah, xi yin
( from my guessing : kristen, sher min, pei pei, ee von, aveena,
ee jane, lavanial, janice, davin, adrienne, yee xian, sue anne,
...and more

What "U" say really make sense to me now
" THERE"S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GETTING A1 & A2 "
[ this only happen if i know that i'm just that close to reaching the max ]

IF, i got B for any of the subject i think i will say it differently
" why so ugly....how nice if all are A - even all A2 also happy already "
[ that's what in my mind after spm exam while waiting for result ]

Promises : since i miss it in spm, i'm gonna get u this time in A Levels
for getting A for Physics and A for Chemistry !!!

Well, i'm just not good enough. I need to soar and aim higher in future xD